To Aspie or not to Aspie?

After years of being at least slightly different, I think I am finally ready to accept that I might be an Aspie. I have had my GP appointment today and the doctor agreed that I should get a referral but she also warned me that the whole process may take up to 12 months. So hopefully a year from now I will know what is wrong different with me.

Right now there is a part of me which is happy about the referral and potential clarification of why social situations are so hard. But a different part of me is not because it feels like saying you are not normal. And to make the things worse, over all those years I have built up a massive piece of guilt of being different and it has just resurfaced.

I am not sure where it all will take me. I hope it will be a bit better place or that at least some social challenges will be easier to deal with.